Women are to be prevented from entering bookshops as part of an upcoming scheme to further empower them. Instead, all towns in the UK will feature branches of the all-female 'Fabuloustorez!' chain, in which they will be encouraged to purchase 'chick-lit', relationship based self-help publications and glossy magazines in a female-focussed environment, with powerful spotlights and mirrors on every surface so that guests can view themselves at every imaginable angle without even having to visit a high street changing room. It is hoped that the new stores will allow the complex modern woman to get her 'fix' of empty-headed prose without the inconvenience of being surrounded by literature, politics, history, philosophy and science, which are naturally of no relevance whatever. The scheme replaces last year's controversial proposal for a country-wide system of 'Truth Booths' in which women would stand naked staring at the word "unfuckable" for 40 minutes a day.