Neil Thompoke was polishing the grave of his late grandfather when he was approached to design the new extension on the Tate Modern. As part of an innovative scheme to get people involved in the arts, the Council for Socioculturale Change pioneered the project. The Council award prestigious artistic contracts to people with little to no experience, or indeed interest, in the fields in question. Sound crazy, you might be forgiven for thinking so (not by BrainDeadAir of course - you fucking elitist swine), but projects carried out within the programme have so far been met with resounding nods of approval on the parts of both obscure unemployed critics and the relatives of those involved.

The former Food Court Supervisor who went on to direct the English National Opera's recent production of Rising Damp - A Ballet for the Peopel, Patrick Mickeymac certainly isn't complaining, as he cheerfully explained to our Tammy Pikkles over a saucer of milk at EatLikeTheAnimals' new gastrobistro on the South Bank:

"Well to be honest I preferred the people I worked with at the shopping centre but now I don't have to clean up either baby sick or pensioner's shit, although I did once have to hold Esther Rantzen's hand while she vomited in the toilets at the Old Vic after watching a particularly graphic portrayal of pigeon circumcision as part of a hard hitting community drama piece".

Of course there are still those who consider allowing the working classes to come within a country mile of the high arts utter folly, but it seems we'd better get used to it. Rumour has it next year's senior photography curator at the V&A is going to be recruited by placing a golden ticket in a random pasty sold through a branch of Greggs the bakers in a provincial town...