DEAR FAY…

Q. My husband says he'll leave me if I don't eat pigshit from his belly-button.  The problem is, I don't really want to because I don't think it will taste too good and I get terrible indigestion at the best of times.  What should I do?
A. You must realise that you'll never find anyone else who'll pay you the slightest bit of attention if this man leaves you.  Hold your nose and get on with it.